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14. Trying to Try! at Twenty-Three
This is about rugby. For those who don’t know rugby, me too, but also, the aim is to score more tries than the other team. So, here we are, just Trying to Try! My dad, in his day, played some rugby in some semi-serious way and I remember, as a kid, watching him get frustrated with patchy replays on youtube,…
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Questions I Have: An Intermission of Sorts
Do you ever wonder about the significance of your artifacts? As in if Mount Vesuvius erupted right now and you couldn’t run fast enough but all of your things survived — do you wonder what the people would find? Do you wonder whether they would find you interesting if they discovered the scribbles in your journal and your unfinished sudoku…
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13. Trying to Not Get Eaten at Twenty-Three
There are no natural predators in New Zealand. This was one of the very first things I learned when I got here; Kiwis claim it quite boastfully, almost completely ignorant to their privilege and the implications of their circumstance. 60-ish days in to my stay in Cape Town, I drove a co-worker home and as we passed family homes, all…
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12. Trying to Turn Twenty-Three
I think I hate my birthday! More accurately, I hate fear the way my birthday makes me think about whether I have enough friends or enough fun or whether I am doing enough to celebrate, even if it’s not how I want to celebrate! Like drinking a lot when I don’t actually enjoy how it makes me feel and laughing…
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11. Trying to Know my Knots at Twenty-Two
Some educated and credentialed man* told me today that life is just a series of course-corrections. By “told me” I mean that he said it on a randomly chosen podcast, and probably several others, as is usually the case with educated and credentialed men, and I heard it. And by “heard it,” I mean heard it. And so it felt…
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10. Trying to Water the Grass Beneath My Feet at Twenty-Two
(the sequel to “06. Trying to Collapse…” and the prequel to “(XX). Trying to Stay on The Wagon Forever…) Everyone seems to want to make it out to Europe mostly but also to America and sometimes even to Canada and no one who is from here can seem to fathom why I would want to come here, to a place…
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09. Trying to Fit into Not My Jacket at Twenty-Two
Maybe it’s just “Trying to Fit In at Twenty-Two” Or is it Trying to “Find Home at Twenty-Two”? Create home? Become home? When I first moved to Auckland, it was midwinter. At least I was hoping it was midwinter and not the beginning of winter because it was so damn cold; I couldn’t tell you how cold because I’m still…
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08. Trying to “Just” Move My Body at Twenty-Two
Leaving my athletic career behind — even calling it a career tickles the imposter syndrome in my throat, a devilish vulture-like thing perched on the shoulder of my self-esteem — has been a tangled mess for many reasons, most of which have something to do with my body and what it looks like and how it feels but mostly what…
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07. Trying to Not Join a Cult at Twenty-Two
I quit my first job when I was 22. As in, I quit a job for the first time I actually may have gotten fired The most irresponsible thing I have ever done. The reason I came to Auckland — the internship post-graduation, that was the plan, obviously. and I lasted 3 weeks. No worries though guys! I found a…
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06. Trying to Collapse at Twenty-Two
do you believe in reincarnation? circles over scribbles orderless city quiet noise and music and silence it is the perfect time all the time because no two days were ever the same he said with smug profundity laughable and i write in verse because of the pauses so pause and breathe expand not in consumption but in embrace exhale into…
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Trying To at Twenty-Five: The Blog 