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43. Trying to Pack the Dishwasher at Twenty-Three
I have always expected more from the dishwasher. I used to watch, dumbfounded, as the adults in my life scrubbed the dishes clean before arranging them onto the racks of that lazy and sparkling silver appliance. And one day I finally did it. I asked the question that marked the beginning of my becoming a person: “Why would I wash…
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42. Trying to Indicate Right at Twenty-Three
As I sit stationary at the red light just north of Tennessee street, my hand hovers under the indicator before I remember that I am not heading back to my apartment, that I don’t have an apartment anymore; despite what my bank lists as my billing address, I no longer live across from that biscuit company just off the edge…
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41. Miscellaneous Break
some (intensely unedited) words from my recent past that just put me on the verge of tears: WHAT’S CRAZY is how standing under a big tree during an evening shower, being hit with raindrops on delay, raindrops whose lifetimes were extended thanks to the leaves of this big tree; is like looking up into the night sky, seeing into the…
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40. Trying to Come Full Circle at Twenty-Three
It’s hard to explain but I recently encountered a younger version of myself. She was exactly sixteen and she was crying in her childhood bedroom, a bedroom which was recently obliterated to bits by some indifferent man on an indifferent bulldozer, by someone paid to destroy what was in order to make space for what will be. And her tears…
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39. Trying to Let the Thing Be the Thing at Twenty-Three
Have you ever fit so particularly snuggly into a moment of yesterday that you could not help but wake up today not eager to expand into something larger but insistent upon shrinking back into the exact perfection of yesterday only to be disappointed, albeit not surprised, to find that yesterday’s perfect fit could never possibly be today’s? I tend to…
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38. Trying to Cool Coffee at Twenty-Three
Imagine for a moment, dear reader, that you left home in June of last year. You boarded a plane, teary-eyed after kissing your loved ones hurriedly outside the terminal; you remember walking to your gate, gasping for air, tapping your pockets as if it is some thing you are leaving behind. You remember concocting a story about the airport policeman…
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37. Trying to Learn Something New at Twenty-Three
In Auckland, I learned what color the yolk of an egg is meant to be And in the Longwood Forest, I learned how to listen And heard a voice I’ll never not know Just after Arrowtown, I learned how to sleep In the surface of Lake Wānaka, I saw myself for the first time And just before Highland Creek Hut,…
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36. Trying to Get Caught in the Rain at Twenty-Three
When did you stop playing in the rain? On my final morning in New Zealand, I quivered in boat pose on the beach as the hour’s imminent rain began falling. It was gentle at first. I stayed until it became steady and cold. And I smiled at a memory; the kind that floats past from the camera’s perspective; the kind…
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35. Another Poem: Sitting on the bus on the 10th of March
Shimmering fingers knitting quickly in the windowObserved in reverse A reflection ahead I find myself on the edge yet again One more day of me We three strangers in the jet-black seaThree times underneathFuzzy and barefoot on the pavementThe blisters sting this morning A March to the New Moon A salute to MoanaAnd to me,TooOne more day of meReminders often…
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34. Trying to Be Dan Levy at Twenty-Three
In a podcast* episode promoting his new film* Dan Levy said things that solidified to me my own purpose. I am meant to write. And it’s a truth onto which I keep circling back And it is my worst fear that I will not take the steps to realize my dream. My calling? My purpose? My what-I-am-meant-to-do. Because it is…
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Trying To at Twenty-Five: The Blog 