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62. Trying to Do the Right Job at Twenty-Four
I have taken some serious offense to the phrase, must be nice This is my fragility, of course. my guilt in full effect I am white and in strong physical shape. I am able-bodied and I come from a wealthy family and live in a town teeming with money. I am straight-passing and tall and for reasons entirely out of…
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61. Trying to Get My Cat Out at Twenty-Four
I adopted a cat on the 11th of January this year. Only recently have we started cuddling and purring in the early hours of the morning. When she is not pissing and shitting on my couch, she is the highlight of my day. Truthfully, even when she is pissing and shitting on my couch, she is a significant joy because…
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59. Trying to See Snow Fall in Florida at Twenty-Four
I like that there are still things I cannot have on-demand. I like that in the age of next-day shipping and direct-messaging, it snowed yesterday in Tallahassee and when I wished today that I could drive up this weekend and see the flurries for myself it occurred to me that the snow will have melted because there are specific days…
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58. Trying to Do the Impossible at Twenty-Four
The impossible truth of “loving” someone: Today, she and I woke up (for the second time) (the first had one of us in tears at 3am) in a bed that belongs to neither of us, one person on either side of two snoring french bulldogs who also belong to neither of us. I told my boss who took a trip…
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56. Trying to Be the Perfect Amount of Uncomfortable at Twenty-Four
My best friend, someone I both admire and love, once asked for an extra chair at the restaurant just so that her purse did not have to sit on the ground I was mortified but I tried not to show it. I think I was trying to impress her. Or I was afraid she wouldn’t love me back if I…
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55. Trying to Speak for Ghosts at Twenty-Four
Last night’s work dinner event sat me across from (diagonally, one seat to her right, my left) a woman who facilitates cacao ceremonies in town of course and we got on and on about all sorts of mystical and magical things, thank Goodness, and she said she likes how I enunciate all of the letters in the word important she…
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54. Trying to Not Say Too Much at Twenty-Four
I absolutely love seeing a woman I only sort of know walking a dog just a few streets down from my new apartment. I realize now that she’s my neighbor and we both drive 12 or 20 minutes depending on traffic to the same yoga studio each day but when I see her here, walking before 9am in her pajamas,…
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53. Trying to Never Say ‘Love’ at Twenty-Four
My drafts file, at this point, is one giant mess of different versions of the same story about Love that I just cannot bring myself to post because who bloody cares and what on EARTH would I say?! I remember being quite young when I started to wonder why every single song ever sung on the radio seemed to be…
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51. Trying to Hurricane Prep at Twenty-Three
Hurricane days feel like lost days. I look at my calendar and feel like crossing out this whole week. After I crossed out all of last week, too, I feel exhausted. Maybe it’s because when I was in school, hurricanes that cancelled class added days onto the end of the school year. Can I add these days onto the end…
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50. Trying to Assemble My Junk Drawer at Twenty-Three
When I go to Tallahassee from Sarasota, I drive “the back way” all my family and sister-cousins and brother-cousins and me, we call it, simply, “the back way” and there is a small shop, perfect for a stretch of the legs and absolutely impossible for a single woman driving after nightfall, that sells CBD cigarettes and when I tell you…
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Trying To at Twenty-Five: The Blog 