I write today from Merriview Hut, where accommodation is $15 NZD inside the hut and $10 NZD if you choose to pitch your tent; an extra dollar earns you a fresh egg, which you can boil in water from the running tap.

And this is my paradise, today, for last night when I shimmied into my sleeping bag and shut my eyes at 8:07PM, wishing desperately for the day to end, I could still feel the mud swallowing my toes; I could still hear the endless slosh-slosh-slosh of those 16km of swamp after marsh after whatever-bloody-else-you-want-to-call-it.

Word on the trail is I won’t see forest like that again until the top of the North Island.

Word on the trail is it gets a whole lot better from here — which is exactly what I need to hear if I’m going to keep going.

Things I did not expect to love but do:

I have loved crossing paths with fellow trail-goers in the forest. Specifically, I love that we exchange meaningful information about what lies ahead for each of us on our respective, separating paths. We are converging circles. Maybe more just intersecting lines, I guess.

I have also loved cooking with my little propane and stove set. I feel like I know what I’m doing and I feel proud and strong knowing that everything I need to survive (and more) is on my back for every step of this journey.

Things expected but not yet appeared:

My view from the summit this morning was clouded by fog — somehow, I felt robbed of what I had earned. I did not take much time up there, except to eat some oats to fuel for my descent, but that could have been because I was so ready to get out of the forest. This, in retrospect, is funny because I pushed so hard to get to the forest, because I was so excited, and the sheer mileage I did on that first day is part of what made it so tough.

*sniff sniff* I smell a …. metaphor ????

Speaking of metaphors,

I will, of course, leave you with some things I learned from the mud:

(Beware the blinding glare of the rose-colored glasses)

1. Many things (all things?) are impossible before you do them. You can always surprise yourself.

2. You can try dance around the shit for as long as you want; eventually, inevitably, you will be faced with a shit-pool you have to barrel through, straight down the middle, and it will be so much quicker and safer and more fun (maybe) (in retrospect) (maybe) if you just get knee-deep in shit.

3. Let the thing be the thing for as long as it is, and then let it be whatever it becomes, for as long as it may.

4. Every step matters.

xx

P.S. do you ever have moments where you find out that you and the other person were in fact thinking the same thing in those moments in between words? Today someone said to me, “have a nice life,” as we parted ways for the first and last time and I just feel like forever floating on the wisdom in that little glimmer. We both know we will never see each other again. And so he wished me a nice life! Idk!

P.P.S. Maybe he was my spirit guide personified today! Thank you, Cecil!

Thank You, Goodness!